For the last few days, as I soak up the final leg of my Hawaiian vacation, I haven't known what time it is. Is it could be 2pm?, 4pm? who knows. Did I wake up at 5am? 6am? 8? I don't remember.
I haven't constantly looked at my phone to know what time it is like usual or done some math on the fly to see if I could fit just one more thing in. I've even been walking slow. Actually slow, and it's been amazing. I often say that one of my top core values is efficiency and oh man do I love being efficient. I can get so much done in a day: training sessions, work, errands, a short nap, etc. In my mind I actually schedule things like "ok, if I just really go fast for this final set at the gym, I could probably get a whole 20min nap in" or "ok, if I just avoid the cluster of people I know, I could be in and out of the office in 5 minutes" When I get busy, I get to flex my efficiency muscle, which to me, is an admirable skill. What I lose out on when I'm efficient is connection to myself and others. Connecting with people takes time and energy that sometimes, I truly believe I don't have time for.
While on "holidays" (I call it that because I'm in Hawaii for to two different races), my outlook calendar isn't ruling my life in 30 minute increments. I notice some subtle shifts.
when I don't know what time it is:
- I find myself actually listening instead of wondering if I actually have time to be chatting
- I breathe deeper instead of holding my breath in anticipation of whats next
- I savour - food, moments, people
- I feel rested
- I wake up because it's morning - at home i wake up with the right amount of time to get ready for whatever it is I have scheduled. Lately I just wake up early because I love the quiet of morning
- I feel grateful
- I enjoy the dolce far niente (the sweetness of doing nothing - I honestly spend time just sitting and staring and it's lovely)
So now what? I go home shortly and outlook will go back to telling me what I have in 15 minutes and trainingpeaks will let me know what spandex outfit I should toss in the car.
I've thought a lot about it and I think the best thing to do is to stay hooked on the feeling and remember to bring some of Hawaii with me to my desk, on the trainer, etc. and to especially remember that time is just about the most precious currency I can spend and to spend it in the areas that matter to me: the people that build me up, the activities that fill me up, and the moments I have to do nothing (even if they are in the car, walking to a meeting or sleepily making coffee before swimming)