Why not me?
I had 3 goals for Ironman this year
- Go faster than before
- Beat my Dad’s time
- Get a Kona spot
I used to look at other people’s success and think “good for them” followed by, in barely a whisper, “and that could never be me.” I never felt jealous. I didn’t feel discouraged. I just had this small differentiation in my mind that there were “those people” and then there was me. VPs at work, people kicking ass and taking names in sport, people who get lots of likes on Instagram – “good for them! That’s so awesome …and…I can't do that…” A couple years ago, I watched qualifiers at Ironman Canada collect their world championship spots – good for them…maybe I could do that but probably not… because other people want it more and the odds are slim, and anything can happen and so much is out of my control…”. Don’t get me wrong, I was happy, successful, had everything I needed but somewhere along the lines I added an imaginary ceiling that limited how much of those things I could have. Until it hit me.
I don’t know where it come from but this September in Whistler, I was standing in Parking lot 4 wearing a cycling kit with no shoes on and nibbling away on free beef jerky. I had just completed the Whistler Granfondo and was simply basking in the sun, considering what to do next in that moment (maybe I should take my bike shorts off?) and beyond (Maybe I want to do something else for a living?)…. and then it came to me:
- I can do whatever I want.
- I can create whatever I want.
- I can do just about anything…within reason,…and outside of reason! Screw reason.
- I can get a ton faster in sports if I want
- I can be a VP if I want.
More people could probably like my Instagram posts. (though this one I actually don’t fully understand. Social media = confusing)
I truly got for the first the power of clarity, intention and the hustle it takes to make it happen.
My goals went from “hopefully do better at the things I already do but totally cool if not” to the clarity of my goals listed above.
- Yesterday I got a best time by only minutes – check. It was a tough day (what ironman isn’t?), it didn’t go perfectly to plan, and I’ll happily take those bonus minutes and pocket them for my next startline
- I didn’t beat my Dad’s time, but I sure intend to and I will chase it down and for now he can remind me as much as he wants that he is the fastest Richardson.
- I got a Kona spot. I can barely believe it. It didn’t feel like my race was coming together in a way that’d be fast enough, but you never know and I just kept moving and it worked out. There are so many people who wanted and “deserve” to go, and there is so much that can go right and wrong and there are so many talented people and, for probably the first time this year, I included myself in that group.
What’s the big difference? Everything. …to me.